Vasile Goriceanu, 21, collapsed and had convulsions in his barracks. He was taken to a military hospital where doctors gave him a battery of tests. In the end, they decided he was suffering from “an acute case of sexual frustration.” A military spokesman said that “He became feverish, delusional and finally hysterical after being apart from his girlfriend for two months. He was suffering from hysteria induced by sexual frustration.”

Even though Vasile had been masturbating very frequently, this didn’t alleviate his sexual frustration. He even had sex with a sheep when his unit went to help farmers harvest corn. That didn’t help either.

The military showed no mercy. Vasile is doing his compulsory service and won’t be able to see his girlfriend for another 9 months.

Nice try, Adrian. Better luck next time.